Screwed in Tallinn — a small movie about loneliness

Vladan Lausevic
16 min readDec 4, 2020

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Source: SVT Öppet Arkiv

The movie

In 1999 a comedy movie was made in Sweden called “Torsk på Tallinn” (Screwed in Tallinn). The full original name became Torsk på Tallinn — en liten film om ensamshet meaning Screwed in Tallinn — a small movie about loneliness.

The movie was a made as a “fake documentary” about a group of middle-aged and elderly single heterosexual men who decide to go on a trip to Estonia in order to meet women and start new intimate relationships.

In the Swedish language, the word torsk has several meanings. In general, torsk means cod (fish), and loser, where torsk is used in order to describe a person who is considered to be easy to trick, lure and screw. In slang or street-language, torsk also means “sex buyer” or “whoremonger”, meaning a heterosexual man who is paying for prostitution and sexual services.

The meaning of “torsk” became the main reason how the movie got its name. The comedy was one of the more popular ones in Sweden during the beginning of 2000s and today enjoys more or less a status as a “cult movie” being watched and memorised by nostalgic individuals.

The scenario

A group of 11 men are meeting near a small town in rural Sweden. They are getting ready for a bus ride to Tallinn, a weekend trip they believe will change their lonely lives radically. Since the movie was made as a fake documentary, the viewer can follow the lonely men and hear their life stories, including short interviews with a commentator voice in the background. In the movie’s original presentation, it was stated that:

Screwed in Tallinn is a documentary that captures the masculine loneliness in its whole gorgonian nudity — sex scenes, baltic misery and a whole bunch of happy laughs are promised. The main story of the movie is how several single men from Sweden are going to Estonia in order to meet single women for dating and relationships.

A fake newspaper ad from the movie. It says “Many women, chicks and ladies are waiting for you. Screwed in Tallinn. Your queen is living in the heart of Baltic. Leave your loneliness in Sweden-find your love in Estonia”. The local number for Stockholm 087846675 is not functional in real life.

The producers

The fake-documentary was directed by Tomas Alfredsson who besides being famous as a director of Thinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy mostly worked comedy TV-production together with several contemporary famous comedians such as Robert Gustafsson, Anders Lokko and Henrik Schyffert.

These comedians were at the time and still are, seen by larger parts of the Swedish population as very popular and entertaining. During the 1990s the mentioned comedians became famous under the name “Killinggänget” (Killing Gang) named after a fictive comedian Glenn Killing played by Henrik Schyffert that started in 1991. Robert Gustafsson played three roles during the movie since one of his specialities in comedy has been to play different characters.

Shows as Nile City can be found via Sweden’s Public Broadcaster SVT. From left to right, member of the Killing Gang: Henrik Schyffert, Johan Rheborg and Robert Gustafsson.

In general, the Killing Gang members had their histories as stand-up comedians in bars and stand-up comedy places as in Stockholm and Gothenburg. Their comedy style can be described partly about surrealistic situations and “magic realism”, and at the same time, partly about absurd and funny situations that viewers would recognise from social life in Sweden as concerning topics as sports, sex, alcohol, economy, psychology, lifestyles, etc.

The movie was very popular during the end of 1990s and beginning of 2000s in Sweden. Today, the movie has a “cult status” among a certain number of individuals in Sweden, as in the case of those who grew up as teenagers and young adults during the early 2000s. At the same time, the Killing Gang collective is famous also for several other shows as Nile City. This includes the character of Percy Nilegård, played by Johan Rheborg, who sees himself as a talented businessman with the motto of “management by fear”.

The plot

The movie starts with one of the main characters, Lennart Sundström (played by Jonas Inde) who works as a “dirt man” or “shit man” (meaning drainage worker). Lennart is a “mambo” (mom boy) since he is living with his mother and feels very emotionally connected to her. Thereby, the movie starts with him saying that “it could become very messy with, so to say, two females under the same roof. Nah ok, they may, I think it will take time for them to get used to each other. Mother has had a little temperament and can find it hard to be with other humans”.

“It can get messy.”

Another part of the opening scene is the presentation of Percy Nylegård. As a “businessman” Percy is ready to do almost anything to earn money by almost any means. The story starts by Percy telling about how he met a guy called Lembit and how after some talk about Estonia and women they concluded to make a successful business idea — Lembit will find Estonian women interested in Swedish men while Percey finds Swedish men interested in Estonian women. According to Percy, his clients are mostly not from the big city as Stockholm but from the countryside. Percy presents this business idea as “serious” and “luxury arrangement”.

The businessmen Percey Nilegård talking about his work with “travel activities.”

At the beginning of the movie, as a viewer one will also see Robert Gustafsson playing “Roland” who is preparing for the trip by going to a hair-dresser where he is wondering how the communication with the women will take place. He is talking to the camera that interpreters should surely be there as well. After that, there is a scene where Roland is taking vaccine shots in his back. After getting three shots, Roland tells the nurse that he is going to Tallinn. The nurse’s reaction is feeling surprised since she understood to him that he was going to Thailand and not to Tallinn. Thereby, the nurse tells Roland that he did not have to take all of those shots.

(Nurse) “Is it straining little?” (Roland) “Oh God, it is straining so much”.

Another character also played by Robert Gustafsson is “Micke” also called “Jan Banan” who is travelling together with his buddy Slobodan. Micke is a “raggare”, which is a sub-culture popular in some rural parts of Sweden historically developed around a passion for American cars as during the 1960s and 1970s. During the movie, Micke is seen as the most stubborn and self-oriented person, often using curse words and more aggressive behaviours.

“Is this the sperm-bus to Tallinn?” asks Micke.

After gathering in a smaller town somewhere in the countryside, the single men are starting their bus ride to Tallinn. In general, the men are excited and looking forward to meeting the women for whom they hope will change their relationship statuses.

“We are heading towards Stockholm and Estonia-ferry,” says Percey to the excited gentleman.

Before reaching Stockholm, the company is taking a break in the city of Örebro at a candy store called “Hasses sega gubbar” (Hasse’s jelly dudes). Percey informs the gentlemen that prices are low because the candy is “defect” due to mistakes during production.

The break is for three hours, and after the men have done shopping, one of them asks Percey if they could continue. Percey’s answer is that they have to take the break because Lasse Kongo, the bus driver, has to be careful in order to not get in trouble with the police at the same time as he and Lasse are pouring alcohol in their glasses.

“Can you pour some”?

Also, during the break, the gentlemen take a group photo in front of the shop. They see the trip as a gamechanger and milestone in their lives.

“Who is the best? — Tallinn (19) 98-gang!”

After the break, the company continues their trip towards Stockholm. Percey informs the gentlemen that according to a message from Lembit, not less than 30 women are waiting for them. For the gentlemen, that means a 1:3 ratio and high chances to find new life partners.

Taking a ferry from Stockholm to Tallinn, Riga or Helsinki is also popular because of possibilities to buy alcohol and party in nightclubs. Therefore, there is an exception among the gentlemen that they will have a full night of joy, fun and hopefully sexual intercourse even before they reach Estonia.

The “de-luxe” love-bus is coming onboard.

However, what the gentlemen are not aware of is that Percey has a different plan. In Percey’s “business view” concerning economics risks, he cannot risk that the gentlemen will behave well and keep their self-control. When arriving on the ferry, Percey and Lasse sneak out from the bus quickly, and after that, Percey puts a chain on the main entrance door. The gentlemen stay locked on the bus, with no toilet, and have to spend the night there angry and disappointed.

“Cheers, guys.”

When arriving in Tallinn, the gentlemen are being told by Percy that their hotel is not in Tallinn but in the “picturesque suburb of Paldiski”. The name of the hotel is “Paldiski Palace”, and Percy says it is “ a four-star hotel”.

“It is very beautiful here in Tallinn.”

At that time, when the movie was made, Paldiski was seen as one of the places in Estonia with higher levels of poverty and social problems. Before reaching “Paldiski Palace”, the gentlemen are enjoying some sight-seeing.

“Boys, we are getting closer to the hotel. A little bit forward here we have the excitement”, says Percey.

When arriving at the hotel, Percey says to others that “We are going to enter that building. That is our first assignment”. The gentlemen feel tired but also are getting excited and looking forward to meeting the ladies.

Four-star hotel “Paldiski Palace.”

When the men arrive, they are welcomed by a group of local musicians playing Estonian and Swedish hymns. Behind the orchestra, there is a portrait of Lenin with “devil horns” as a funny sign of post-communist development.

“Devil Lenin”

As the music is playing Percey is meeting with Lembit while the gentlemen are standing in line in order to check-in. They are being told by Percey that at 5 PM there will be a meeting in the big hall where they will meet the women. At the same time, Micke is getting more impulsive. Together with a sex-worker from Slovakia that he just met, he steps in the line before others and says to the receptionist — “I need a room here as quick as possible”.

Love is in the air.

After all the gentlemen have checked in, changed and rested for a moment, and in Micke’s case had sex, they are getting ready to meet the ladies. In order for the whole speed-dating event to be performed, Percey has a system with numbers, which at the beginning seems confusing and irritating. When being asked by several gentlemen why they have to wear the numbers, Pecrey answers that partly that is how things are done and partly because of language challenges since “they (Estonians) cannot speak English”.

“Time for numbers.”

After some disagreements around the numbers, it is time to meet the women. The opening ceremony starts with the women being on the podium, where Lembit is standing and making a short presentation. After Lembit’s presentation, all women together are saying “Welcome to Estonia” on Swedish. It is time for the dating process to begin. The idea is that the gentleman and women will spend 2 minutes with each other in a speed-date run.

“Welcome to Estonia”. Lembit presents the ladies.

The whole dating process starts with confusion, irritation and misunderstandings. Percey is together with Lembit trying to keep things under control and is worried that the gentleman will misbehave. Micke is seen as the most problematic and stubborn person, while a couple of others are not satisfied with the number plate system.

“Can you shut up? I am trying to arrange something here” says Percey.

Things get smoother and easier when the music starts. The song that is played in the background is “Love and Marriage” by Frank Sinatra, that also was a theme song from the show “Married With Children” starring Ed O’Neill in the role of “Al Bundy”.

At least the music makes it more comfortable and easier for men to start talking with the women, with the help of interpreters. In several scenes, questions and answers about jobs, salary, housing, assignments are being discussed. In Lennart’s case, he is explaining to one of the women about his life schedule and “NÖF-tid” which stands for nearness, tenderness and free-time (närhet, ömhet, fritid).

“And what do the man and the women do during the nearness, tenderness and free-time period?” Lennart asks rhetorically when presenting his system for living together as a couple.

So far, so good. It seems that the gentleman and the ladies are able to communicate, chat and charm each other. Serious and humorous discussions are taking place. However, not all things are going in accordance to plan. The main reason is that Micke is still not satisfied with the number plate and rotation system. Instead, he is starting to approach Svetlana, who is not one of the dating ladies but Lembit’s wife.

A romantic gesture by Micke while Percey is still unaware of what is happening.

During the speed-dating time, men and women are rotating every 2 minutes. After almost one hour, the women are supposed to make a choice. On a sheet of paper, they write which of the gentlemen is their first, second and third choice. One of the gentlemen who feel lucky is Roland because he feels that he had a nice talk with one of the women called Eda. However, after the dating run, he feels nervous and wants to know if some of the women, and hopefully Eda, have chosen him. After talking with Percey and Lembit, he gets to know that the answer to his question is no.

“Not even there? (Roland) — No (Percey)”

The next step in the dating process is dancing. Once more, men and women are gathering to meet each other, but this time for some moves and shaking. Love is in the air.

Since he loves Swedish “dansbandmusik” (dance band music), Roland is not shy to be the first gentleman to invite one of the ladies (Eda) to dance.

While others are dancing, Jan is waiting for Svetlana at the toilet. Despite being warned by Percey not to approach Lembit’s wife, Micke still feels that he has affections for her. When she comes out, he scares her as a joke, and after that, he and Svetlana start hugging and kissing each other. While they are doing that, Lembit is coming out from the men’s toilet and gets a negative surprise.

Micke did not follow the “watch but not touch” rule.

Because of Micke’s actions, Percey has a big problem because his business is depending on the partnership with Lembit. And that is not the only problem. While Percey is playing cards and drinking with Lasse and others, one gentleman is drunk and misbehaving. Roland comes up to tell them about the situation.

“Micke and Lembit are fighting down there.”

And it is not only Micke and Lembit who are fighting. Magnus (also played by Johan Rheborg) is different from other gentlemen because he is an alcoholic and gets aggressive when drinking. One thing Magnus finds very funny is that waiter’s surname is Kukk which reminds him of “kuk” — “cock” or “dick” in Swedish. He also starts misbehaving towards the waiter and one of the younger gentlemen and his date. This leads to intervention from Percey and others who decide to bring him into his room.

“Mr Cock, hehe. “

Now things are getting much worse and intensive. Percey has to solve two fights. The easy part is with Magnus while the hard part is regarding the triangle drama between Micke, Svetlana and Lembit. In the middle fo the brawling, Lennart tells Percy that “you are dividing people like cattle, so of course that hey will behave as fucking cattle”.

“The triangle drama.”

Additional comments and cursings are being made. Micke tells Percy that Svetlana likes him and that he has paid 3000 Swedish Kronas to fuck. Therefore, Micke’s position is that “an Estonian bastard is not going to stop me”.

Meanwhile, while Percy is saying that this “triangle drama” should end while Lembit slaps Svetlana, something that makes Micke even angrier and out of control. Lembit is not only feeling disappointed but also humiliated. Percey tries to calm him down and make him feel better, as by offering him money. But for Lembit, the whole business is already over.

“The party is over.”

After the dance and all incidents, gentlemen go back to their rooms, followed by some of the ladies. Roland, who is alone, goes around in the corridor and speaks with the camera-man. In the background, one can hear sounds of music and moaning of men and women during sexual interactions. Roland is curious about what is happening and also tells Percy about all “lovemaking” that is taking place.

“It is as a monkey house inside there,” says Lennart to Percey.

Percy feels irritated since he wants to sleep and thinks that others should do that as well. Lennart who is spending time with his date thinks that “it sounds here as in a monkey house”. Lennart also thinks that Percey should shut up the others while Percy pushes him away and says “shut up you Laponian bastard”.

“What are you doing here,” asks Percey? “Fucking” answers Jan.

After that, Percy went into the room where he finds Jan having sex with Svetlana while Slobodan is having sex with Eda that Roland liked. Percey is not happy to see Jan having sex with Lembit’s wife. Another part of this scene is that Eda and Roland see each other, which makes Eda feeling uncomfortable and guilty.

While Percey is angry with Jan and Svetlana, Roland is still in the corridor. He is behaving, confused and disappointed. While waiting in the corridor, after a moment, he sees Magnus walking drunk with a fire extinguisher in his hand. While Roland is asking him how he is doing, Magnus decides to throw away the fire extinguisher, and he enters the wrong room where he falls asleep in the room of one of the older gentlemen.

“Roland feels uncomfortable when Magnus is smashing the fire extinguisher on the wall”.

On the next day, it is time to head back home to Sweden. One by one, gentlemen are waking up and going to the bus.

“Well, once more, I am heading back to loneliness,” says one of the older gentlemen.

One of the lucky guys is Lennart since his date Luule has decided to come with him directly. Lennart has a mobile phone and makes a call to his mother in order to explain what is going to happen next when there are two women in their house. He also gives the phone to Luule so she can say hello to her new mother-in-law.

“My name is Luule Käss, and I am 24 years old.”

One that was not lucky during the dating night is Roland. He felt that he had a connection with Eda and that he could learn more about her, and also teach her dancing and dance music. Sadly, he just has to accept that he is going back home to Sweden alone.

“At least it was exciting to see Estonia,” says Roland.

But before the bus ride, there is a last short brawl taking place. Percey sees Micke and Svetlana approaching the bus. Keeping in mind what happened during the night Percey thinks that the lovely couple would like to take the bus to Sweden. Percey is still angry because Micke’s approach to Svetlana and their affections for each other have resulted in Lembit leaving the “business”. But what Percey does not know is that Micke and Svetlana will continue on their own way as lovers.

“You are not taking that bitch on the bus!” Percey says to Micke

The movie ends by showing the characters once more talking about their life situations. During the final scene, one can see Roland making new changes in his bathroom. In contrast to one of the first scenes when one can see Roland putting an additional bathroom hook with the sign “hers”, he is now getting rid of it.

“His and hers”.

Additional facts and insights

  • Parts of the movie were shooted in Tallinn and Paldiski. The scenes regarding speed-dating were actually made in Stockholm at “Spånga Folkan” cultural centre.
  • Later on during the middle of 2000s, a DVD version of the movie was created including the “Collector’s edition” style framework with almost 40 minutes of “deleted scenes”.
  • Kongo. The bus driver’s name Lasse Kongo is from 1960s Stockholm dialect slang “Kongo” for describing individuals who are behaving “snuffy” and aggressive. This term was connected to contemporary experiences of Swedish soldiers as UN-peacekeepers in Congo.
  • Languages — Most of the movie was played in Swedish. The second most used language is Estonian, and in some scenes, English, Russian and Slovakian are used.
  • Economy. At the time when the movie was made, the economic differences between Sweden and Estonia were much higher than they are today. The movie was made five years before Estonia became an EU-country and more integrated into the Baltic Sea Region. For example, in 1999, the GDP per capita was $30,728 in Sweden while in Estonia, it was $4,155. Today, the GDP per capita in Sweden is around $55.815 while in Estonia, the GDP per capita is around $38,8100.
  • One inspiration for the movie was an episode called “Torskexpressen” (Sex-buyers express) about heterosexual men from Sweden going to Poland as to Gdansk in order to date and have sex with women there. This episode was shown by TV4 channel in their “Kalla fakta” (Cold facts) program in 1991.

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Vladan Lausevic

I am active as a social and policy entrepreneur. SEEDS ambassador. Motto: I have no identity, I have only identities.